This journey began in the month of May in 2015. The month our daughter, NM, was born and with her a dream for a new life and a new journey that we wanted to embark on as a family. My late husband and I decided that we wanted to build a new life for ourselves and our daughter and hopefully our future children by immigrating to Canada. We did thorough research on various countries and many options were considered but yet somehow all roads led us to believe that Canada was where we wanted to start the new chapter in our book. We were so excited to begin the process and we booked our English test, the first step, and the very next day I began to look for flights for us to take a trip to Canada. We were so excited. It was to be NM’s first international trip too.

It was a Friday afternoon in August 2015 and I was looking for flights with our 10 week old daughter sleeping in my arms. Whilst researching I received a phone call that changed the course of my life. My husband had been shot. He later died of his wounds in the hospital. He was shot for money he was carrying for his business as that week they were moving their premises. I cannot begin to describe the grief and despair. That night as I tried to sleep next to our daughter, not believing what had happened, all I kept repeating in my head over and over was “Lake house. Canada. Lake house. Canada.” Somehow I survived that night and the days that followed.

Despite the grief I still went and wrote the English test that September. I still dreamed of fulfilling the dream we had for raising our children in a beautiful and peaceful country. I was fortunate enough to travel to Canada last year with my daughter and I loved everything about it. I felt excited again for a future and I knew I could build a life for myself and NM that her father would be proud of. Slowly I began to take small steps to work toward gaining permanent residency in Canada. It drove me to keep moving forward. It took some time but here I am. Two years later and I have just submitted all my supporting documents that have taken months to gather. Now the wait begins to see if it will be approved.

Living abroad was our dream and now my goal. There is so much I still want to give in my life and so much I still want to do and I want to do it living and thriving in Canada. I want my daughter to have freedom and choice and beauty all around her. Before tragedy struck we had a wonderful life in South Africa but we desired more and I will fulfil that dream that we had. The dream of our own little lake house with our daughter running to the water in summer laughing all the way. The dream of her playing in the snow in the winter and warming up around a log fire drinking hot cocoa. The dream of camping and hiking in the great outdoors without fear and anxiety. The dream of growing and belonging in a place where anything is possible and we can truly be free.

I will continue to write our story.

I have a dream.

So here I am doing my utmost to achieve that dream.

Here is to hoping and having faith that our new story will be set in Canada in the not too distant future.

Here is to a new journey and a fresh start.